why cant i be both?

Ok.. so well the other day my Grandma, and two aunts came from California and so all 8 of my Dads family come and spend time together.
I have two cousins that are graduation High School this year and they are two different people.

Vicky:

• smart
• 4.0 gpa
• not the prettiest girl on earth
• guys dont want to date her
• wears glasses
• outfit repeater
  

Ashley:

• average student
• 3.5 gpa
• super pretty, sexy, etc.
• guys fight for her (22 year old boyfriend)
• stlylish
• shopping addict

and this is me
Amanda:

• above average
• 4.0 gpa
• not ugly, not pretty
• shopping addict
• contacts
  

Now where does that put me?
I'm pretty much like both of them.


Ashley is more preppy.
Vicky is more nerdy.

My aunt told me.
"Amanda you have to be more like Vicky. Not like Ashley. Pay attention in school it is not a fashion show"

and I said Ok..


but than later I was thinking...

Why cant i be both?

Why cant i be a fashionista and smart?

Than that led to many other things.

In school,
My clique?
I dont fit into one clique i fit into many.
Now my friends dont all get a long with each other so i always find myself caught in between the two.

sterotype?
smart asian? or new generation asian?
idk.

innocent one? or the slut?

dancer or pianist?

Thats what frustrates me the most.

I'm not the same.

Why cant i be both??